Reconnecting

I recently received an e-mail from a former school mate announcing a new website for my High School class. The website is a terrific walk down memory lane. Our senior portraits appear next to the names on each page - a few have more recent photos and written details posted what people have been up to since graduation. It was like stepping back in time, slowly reacquainting myself with once familiar names and faces.

What surprised me was the myriad of feelings confronting me, when I was faced with deciding what information I was willing to share on the website. I played it safe and sent my phone number and email address.

High school was a time I suffered through. I struggled with wanting to be popular and fit in, while not wanting to be another mindless copy, defined by the popular hair styles and dress codes. I longed for something different - exotic - unique. I believe those thoughts are what drove me to attend a college out of state. I wanted to move on and leave the homogeneous, predictable life I'd known behind me.

After graduation, I counted the minutes until I left for college. I planned a fresh start where I could become anyone I wanted. When I returned home the summer of my freshman year, my college experience had already changed me. I had forged new bonds with new friends and no longer fit back into the lives of the friends I'd left behind. I couldn't wait to return to my life at college, where I truly belonged.

Many years and many experiences later, I am now living thousands of miles from my childhood home. My life has taken some pretty amazing twists and turns - with quite a few life lessons thrown in along the way.

After graduating from college, I thought about adventures. I considered joining the peace core - but talked myself out of it, because I couldn't see working in an under-developed nation without a daily shower and creature comforts I took for granted. I toyed with the idea of graduate school, but convinced myself that I didn't have the smarts or the dedication, not to mention a clear vision on a course of study. I had fallen in love for the first time during college, where I also learned to put another person's needs and wants before my own - a recurring theme that has plagued most of my adult life.

While I've always been drawn to the foreign, different, exotic - I've never really stepped out of my own comfort zone. I've been more of an observer in life and less of a participant. It's not easy learning to take risks, but I'm still a work in progress. I'm still learning about me. Every new day is a door to future possibilities.

I hope to travel abroad, see more of the world and experience people and places first hand - not just through travel documentaries or images provided by friends from other countries and cultures. I still toy with the idea of graduate school - after all, you're never too old to learn. More importantly, I am learning to push myself from my comfort zones and learning to take steps towards making any dreams I have become reality...

I've already been in contact with a few friends from High School and I'll admit it's rather exciting to reconnect. I realize that we all share a common bond that never truly leaves you - no matter where you've been since then. Life is an amazing journey. You just never know where it might take you next...

Beat the Heat

After enjoying almost the entire month of June in below-average temperatures, the triple-digit days of summer finally arrived. The increased heat makes it tough to stick to the twice daily walking routine I've recently established with my neighbor, Carrie. We try to fit in a walk every morning before work [weekends, too] and a second go-round in the evenings once the sun sets. As a way to beat the heat, we've started taking our "walk" into the pool. It's been a great way to fit in a little exerise with out even breaking a sweat. In fact, after spending over an hour in the pool last night, I was so chilled I broke out in goose bumps... I've also discovered our nightly pool-walk has resulted in more regular contact with neighbors I might not see until sometime in September when the temperatures drop again. Carrie and I now converse through the pool fence with neighbors out walking dogs or passing by the pool area. One night in particular our mutual neighbor, Julie, was returning from a walk she'd cut short due to the uncomfortable heat and decided to join us in her walking shorts & tank top! I think she now knows that a pool walk in the evening is the only way to go.

So, to anyone who can't quite fathom how to actually enjoy an evening in 100+ degree temperatures, I say - come join me for a refreshing pool walk.... it's the a great way beat the heat.

Self-Evaluation

It's review time again at work. A time for reflection on past accomplishments, future goals and areas I need to improve upon. I do find it interesting that I am asked to provide a completed self-evaluation before receiving feedback from management. Like, do they really need me to point out my best attributes and weaknesses? Or is this their way of checking to see if I have a realistic grasp on how others at the Firm see me?

This year, I felt good about my accomplishments and strengths. I was happy to point out a list of my incredibly positive contributions to the workplace. I look forward to a glowing review. Yes, I'm feeling that good about me.

I also tried to express my support to a co-worker who was dealing with some recent happenings that will no doubt have a slightly negative impact on her upcoming review. But, as we are both learning to do, we worked as a team to prepare her self-evaluation, making sure her best attributes with specific examples were presented and addressing those areas she will need to improve upon with clear steps on how she intends to improve. Having been in her shoes more than once in my life, I know the best way to get through the bad days is to realize you cannot change what happened in your past, but you can take steps to make create more positive perceptions of you going forward.

July Already?

It's hard to believe that tomorrow is July 1st. Wow. The months seem to fly by like minutes... I am looking forward to a long weekend - the office has opted to close on Friday for the July 4th holiday. I have plans to work on my office organization project a bit, so I get that much closer to my goal of being clutter free by labor day. That's not to say, I won't take advantage of my "free" day to get in a little pool time on Friday morning and enjoy a little leisurely reading during the heat of the afternoon. Living in Arizona, you quickly learn why countries with hot climates have adopted the mid-day siesta! I've adapted to rising early to exercise and run errands, then waiting until after the sun sets before attempting any outdoor activities at night. It's the only way to get through the summer months here.

There are benefits to living in a City where it gets so hot you could fry and egg on the sidewalk.

• Traffic is lighter, because the "snowbirds" (winter-only dwellers) are long gone, schools are out on summer break and many locals travel further north to escape the summer heat in the Valley.
• You quickly learn to respect Mother Nature. The Desert is an amazingly beautiful but brutal place in summer, and you either adapt to the environment or die trying. I mourned the loss of several plants lost to the ravages of Arizona summers past. But, I'm proud to report I've managed to keep a lovely hibiscus, fragrant Arabian jasmine, and a Mexican Lime tree that is finally producing normal sized fruit alive and thriving for 3 years (and counting)... with the help of my handy neighbor, Carrie, who volunteers her time to give my plants a better chance at survival than they'd get if left to my rather haphazard care. I've added a few cactus plants to the patio mix, since it's easier to grow plants that have already learned to survive here and can handle a few neglected waterings (hey, no one's perfect)...
• You have a built-in excuse to nap during the day.
• You suffer through 2 hot months a year to enjoy 10 months of nearly perfect weather with temperatures that allow you to be outdoors even in the midst of winter. (Nothing like enjoying dinner on the patio under the stars in January... )

Living through a desert summer certainly makes you appreciate life. Sure, I'll admit, my first summer I questioned my sanity. Then, I found, if you just give into it - realize you cannot conquer it - learn to accept it and work through it - it's not so bad after all.

Enjoy your summer!!! I know I will.

Falling Star

Yesterday the world lost Farrah Fawcett. Sadly, her death was eclipsed by the passing of Michael Jackson just hours after. Countless Michael Jackson hits play on radio stations, television networks run Michael Jackson footage intermingled with interviews from friends and colleagues, and today news crews hover like vultures outside a coroner's office in California waiting for the first morsel they can get on the cause of Michael's death.

Like so many others, I grew up a fan of Michael Jackson. Michael pictures adorned my bedroom walls. I devoured Michael articles in Tiger Beat magazine. I even sported my own navy blue velvet cap, because I thought it resembled a cap Michael wore. I desperately wanted to look like his sister LaToya, and unsuccessfully attempted to style my own curly locks to look like LaToya's. As I reflect on the passing of a pop icon I grew up listening to, watching, even fantasizing about, I cannot help but think of other famous people whose larger than life lives have ended in tragedy. Why is it these rare and gifted people who possess an undeniable magnetism seem to be denied the opportunity to grow old gracefully and pass peacefully? I think of Marylin Monroe, Elvis Presley, and even Anna Nicole Smith. Now it's Michael's turn to have every sordid detail (fact or fiction) of his life as front page news for days to come.

Fame seems to exact a tall price from uniquely magnetic supertars. I wonder is a shortened life span part of their genetic makeup, or is it the burden of fame that causes their larger than life energy to crash and burn too quickly?

One thing is for sure, it's impossible to forget a life that burns so brightly - even after that light has fades to black. Memories - that warm afterglow - remain.

Friend by Definition

I was struggling for a topic today - so I went on to the merriam-webster online dictionary to look up what their definition of the word "friend". Here's what they have written [ edited by me ]:

Main Entry: 1friend
1 a: one attached to another by affection or esteem b: acquaintance
2 a: one that is not hostile b: one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)

I'm not sure what exactly I was looking for, but I will admit I was a little disappointed. Where's the stuff that makes one person really refer to another person as their friend? Where's the stuff that truly defines a good friend? Like:

- someone who's got your back (even when you don't realize it)

- someone who accepts you as you are and likes you just the way you are

- someone who believes in you when you might be struggling to believe in yourself

- someone whose presence in your life helps to make you a better person and a truer friend yourself

Those are the definitions I'd like to see... Oh, I know - there are degrees of friends. Someone you might call friend is truly more of an acquaintance by definition (you'll have to look this one up yourself). I'm fortunate to have an ample supply of great friends - the ones who meet the definitions I've added above - and then some. My friends are all truly amazing people and I am so happy to have them in my life.

So, today - I say "thanks" to all my friends!

Postive Thoughts for a Friend

Today, I'm offering up a little positive insipiration by borrowing a few quotes from those who say it far better than I ever could (in pink, her favorite color):

"Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions.

Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that

you, too, can become great."

- Mark Twain -

"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible;

and suddenly you are doing the impossible."

- St. Francis of Assisi -

"A positive attitue may not solve all your problems,

but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."

- Herm Albright -