I just finished answering an email to my cousin in NJ (hello, Pat). She and I are both share the common goal of learning how to take control over our bodies and start working towards getting in the best shape we can possibly be. To that end, we've both explored the many options promising weight loss and fitness. In our struggles to find the right path to healthy fitness, I think we've both discovered that the first true hurdle to overcome is choosing to love yourself enough to make you the priority in your life.
Speaking for myself, I am still learning to love and respect myself enough to take that control. All my life, I've found it easier to put the needs and wants of others before my own. In keeping my focus elsewhere, I've been able to avoid dealing with my own issues. In fact, I now recognize that it's partly why I am so ready to take on anyone else's cause. So, I'm in the baby steps of learning how to become accountable to me. And, it certainly hasn't been easy.
Shortly after the new year, I saw an Oprah Winfrey show where her guest, Peter Walsh, was helping people like me start taking control of their lives by attacking the physical and emotional clutter - freeing themselves up to live more fully and completely. I taped the show, because I knew it hit home. I wanted to experience it first hand and resolved that I was going to make it happen. I signed up online and started getting the monthly projects by email and I took pictures of all my spaces - the rooms and closets. I spent a Friday night preparing room plans for my kitchen, dining room, living room, bedrooms, office and ALL of my closets - including the pantry, utility room and 1 for each bedroom (since closets in my house are the places where it's so easy to hide clutter and give the illusion you're in control). The exercise of drafting a plan of what the room/closet was to be used for and how it was used presently really helped prepare a sensible plan of attack - because the "clutter" had taken over every living space.
I started on my guest bedroom, the one room that was already in pretty good shape and easiest to complete. I decided to leave my office for last - because it contains the most emotionally charged clutter and the room in the most need of an overhaul. I figured I'd have sharpened my organizing skills on the other spaces and I knew starting there would kill the project and I'd never achieve the goal. My neighbor, Carrie, listened to me excitedly outline my basic plan of attack and admittedly left my home that night figuring I'd never follow the plan through. She came over to check on me the following morning and was amazed to see how much I'd actually accomplished. However, I came across my first first stumbling block - a hope chest filled with stuff I'd forgotten I even had - containing a few household items kept for sentimental reasons and a pile of lovely decorative pillows that had adorned my bed before I redecorated my bedroom. When she suggested I donate them, you'd have thought she was asking me to give up a kidney! I was in serious distress over getting rid of accent pillows I wasn't even using and forgot I had. Eventually, Carrie persuaded me to let them go - and when I handed down the bag containing my beautiful pillows to the gentleman at Goodwill, I didn't so much as give them a backward glance.
That was day one of my organization project. It's been several months and several successful rooms since then - but I've slipped a bit on completing my project by my original due date May 1st). I still have one major space remaining - the office. I started on it back in March and after 8 full hours (I stopped because my shredder had overheated) and barely making a dent, I had to stop. It's a monster of a room - small in size - but packed full of unopened bills and bank statements, photos, cards and personal mementos collected over the past 30 years. It has also become the holding area for artwork and other decorative items I haven't been willing or able to part with. I will admit, I willingly used my parents impending arrival for a months' stay to postpone the project. I am however resolved to complete this project over the summer and my new deadline is clutter-free by labor day! I plan to post the best of my before and after shots, so you can all witness my triumph.
You may be asking yourself (that is if you're still reading) why go into the clutter discussion after an opening about weight loss and fitness? I'll tell you why. I believe that the physical and emotional clutter are visual manifestations of my inner turmoil. I also believe that once I've conquered my clutter and learned to treat my home and belongings with proper respect, I will be able to learn to treat my body with love, consideration and respect.
Because of my newly organized my living spaces, I have found "free time" to walk in the mornings and after dinner with my neighbor (my next major project, making time to shape up!). I find my shopping lists are easier to create - I can instantly see what I need and avoid purchasing things I already have in stock. And, that means more time to spend with family, friends and on activities I enjoy far more than cleaning house and redistributing clutter from space to space.
I've decided it's also time to pay more attention to mindful eating. I am working to plan my meals in advance, keeping healthy snack alternatives in the house and finding fun activities that keep me from sitting on the sofa eating out of boredom. The walking has already helped, but I've decided it's time to up the ante... I'm going to add a motivational picture to my fridge door - along with a food diary - to help me face what I'm eating every time I pass the fridge door... So, here's to discovering my inner fit self!
(inspiration by Drew Barrymore)
